Softer
by jennygiraffadil
Summary: It happens at midnight, whether he knows it or not at the time, but every morning he wakes with Sirius Black in his bed. Every time there is a new excuse, and Remus doesn't believe any of them.


**Title:** Softer  
**Pairing:** Remus/Sirius  
**Summary:** It happens at midnight, whether he knows it or not at the time, but every morning he wakes with Sirius Black in his bed. Every time there is a new excuse, and Remus doesn't believe any of them, but he doesn't have the heart to ask him about it. It's when he realises why that it starts to get complicated.

The first time it happened, Sirius was angry. Remus hadn't witnessed what had apparently been a "spectacular fight" but he didn't need to, he could feel the tension dissipating through Sirius's shoulders and right down his spine as he climbed through the curtains to stand over him, looking awkward. From his wild eyes and barely open mouth he hadn't expected him to be awake, but he shrugged it off anyway and smiled. Not saying a word as he nudged the covers down with his fist and tumbled underneath.

"It's cold," Sirius offered in ways of explanation before curling up into himself and trying to close his eyes. Remus sat watching him, eyes half on the way he clenched his stomach right after biting his lip; and half on the book he still held loosely in his hands. His knuckles whited over the pages as the words blurred into black beetle smudges.

Remus didn't really want to say anything, he didn't feel he should, and there wasn't really much past 'are you okay?' he felt he could offer. He watched the curtains sway with the breeze from the open window, watched the threads of moonlight shackle themselves to Sirius's face, dripping down to taste his body, and he knew he didn't dare, then.

"He's going to fight for Voldemort," Sirius muttered as he looked up, turning onto his back and tracing patterns across the ceiling, "They're proud of him, no doubt. But the others shouldn't know. They're out there gloating for a dead man. Trying to get to him before the Ministry. But just --" he sighed before falling silent again; stretching an arm around the back of his head. Remus noticed how his jaw clenched, his head shifted stiffly, and he could almost picture his teeth clamped tight, keeping back every word he didn't say.

And he almost got it.

_"He's still your brother,"_ he wanted to say, _"I don't know how that feels, but I do know how you feel. You can't let go of anyone who has ever meant something to you. You know he's going to die. You know they're not going to care. And you can't stand them talking about him like he's scum." _

But he just nodded, turned onto his side and wrapped an arm around him, instead.

"It'll be okay," he whispered, even though they both knew that was far from the truth. He smiled, "I promise it'll be okay" and Sirius smiled back.

They lay like that for a while. Just warm skin and fingerprints and heavy breathing. Until Sirius arched his back, popping joints sharply down his spine before shuffling to face him. Remus watched him carefully, tracing through the shadows for eyes on eyes, before catching Sirius's hand pressing down firmly against his own as he made to move it from around his waist. He didn't grin, or smile, but looked at him through the dark, moved closer, and said "It's cold."

--

The next time was in spring and Remus woke up in the middle of the night to lips barely brushing snores against his neck. His eyes flew open and his hands almost reached for his wand before realising who it was and settling back down to sleep. It was awkward. Sharp angles and impossible positions. Heavy arms on heavier chests.

But when Sirius woke up with a smile and whispered "You can't sleep alone on Beltane," Remus forgot it all and just laughed.

--

It became a regular occurrence in the run-up to summer and Remus was no longer surprised when he woke up with a mess of hair pressing against his face. He even managed to savour it sometimes, on the nights before the full moon, when Remus didn't ask and Sirius didn't tell, but they both clung harder; trying not to fall asleep.

The night after the O.W.L's, Remus ended up sprawled across the common room couch until it was just him and the eerie glow of the fireplace. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his fists before dragging himself up the stairs to bed. His hands full of books as he, for once, shrugged away his nightly routine and simply toed off his shoes and loosened his shirt before collapsing onto his bed. His head hit the pillow to the lulling murmur of Sirius's, "Your bed is the only one that faces west." He was too tired to even question it and put up no resistance as a pair of arms pulled him close.

The only reminder of it even happening was the heartbeat thundering in his ear when he woke.

--

The last night before the holidays and they were caught.

"What -- what. What?" James stuttered, not bothering about the time or the guilty expression on Remus's face, as he watched it from behind folded sheets.

Three am he had sauntered back from a midnight date with Lily and Sirius was halfway to opening the curtains on Remus's bed. They all expected more of a blow out than it was when all Sirius did was shrug and say, "His bed is softer."

James's mouth hung open longer than needed before he nodded and walked back out of the room.

--

It was the beginning of the new term when they realised Peter had found out, too. Walking into the common room to wolf whistles and a smug looking James. Lily was laughing before she ran over to hug them - something she had never done before. Remus looked startled with a flush rising up his cheeks at all of the attention. Sirius looked oddly flustered and glanced from Peter to James to Lily and back to Remus before excusing himself.

The next time Remus saw him was midnight.

"Does this make you uncomfortable?" Sirius asked as he slipped under the blankets and rested his head against Remus's shoulder. His breath was hot and slightly damp and Remus felt himself want to shiver. His lips stung.

"Should it?" he replied, turning across to look at him, almost smiling, "I'm used to it by now. It's hardly something new, coming from you. Now if Peter or James crawled into bed with me, I might just have to try a repelling charm to protect my virginal whiles."

Sirius laughed and Remus joined in, shaking his head. Neither of them knew what to say after that and so just lay in silence. Remus shifting to a more comfortable position with his arm tucked snugly between their bodies. Sirius with his hand resting on Remus's stomach, rubbing up and down slowly in the dark.

"Do you think this is weird?" he asked, again, to the entourage of deep snores outside the curtains. His lips formed a thin line and Remus still didn't know what to say.

"For you? No," he grinned, stilling as Sirius's fingers dipped against his navel, "In general? Probably. Does it really matter?"

"I like it," Sirius smiled, his fingers itching down lower and rubbing against his abdomen to sharp intakes of breath. For a moment he looked like he was going to say something else before he cleared his throat with a soft cough and saying again, "I just like it."

Remus's heart pounded inside his head as all the blood rushed from his face.

"Do you --" he began to murmur as he felt a tug on his pyjama bottoms.

"Your bed is warmer," Sirius cut in, slipping his fingers underneath, and Remus was sure he could feel damp lips against his neck.

Remus's back arched as Sirius pressed himself right up against him. His legs quivered and he muttered nameless words under his breath.

"Hey, Sirius," he gasped, and then he was sure that was a pair of lips on his neck, because then they were on his face, on his cheeks, "Sirius --" he whispered, "I like it too."

His fingers found Sirius's under the sheets and gripped them tight.

--

Remus's lips found Sirius's at midnight. The lights still flickered outside of the curtains but they didn't care. Necks ached at awkward angles, muscles pulled, shoulders arched, and teeth crashed together. They parted, haphazardly, as they heard James muttering "goodnight" to somebody before the lights turned black.

Sirius shifted closer and Remus smiled, hands running over arms and chests and hearts.

Remus moved to press against him, looking up into his eyes, he murmured, "It's cold," before pushing their faces together again.

And as the curtains lifted like ghosts in the wind, he grinned. And it was alright.


End file.
